This question came in for my 'Cuppa & Chat Q+A' this week.
Read Below or Watch the Live Video Here
'I am building a business with xxxxxx a direct sales company. How do I get my hubbie on board with my business?'
It's one I've worked on for years. One of my stories in my background was that I was with a global skincare and cosmetics company our team was deep and wide, and hundreds and hundreds of women who came in, and fell in love with the product, and then decided,
"How could I actually earn some money from my love of the product and telling other people about it?" It's a natural process that we are communicators as women, we love letting people know of great deals, hey, you should try that restaurant, or, there's a handbag sale or what, on. That's just our natural way of being, so it's really a great fit to be a social rep, working with a brand that's taken care of so many other things, the literature and the marketing material and the product development, and all that sort of stuff.
It doesn't matter what the business type, as this is all about relationships!
If this is you, and you think, you know what, I'd love to get a partner more involved or not even more involved, but more on board with my business, here's some thoughts that I'd love to share with you that certainly have worked with many, many hundreds of other women that I've helped through this question.
First one is Clarity.
Really get clear about what this business opportunity is for you in the moment, and you can change your mind. What does it mean now? What that is, is that a lot of women get involved in organizations and think, oh right great, I'm going to be the next millionaire. And that might be true, but it's not going to happen tomorrow.
You might be coming on board that business to just have some fun, and hang out with some cool people and be inspired, and feel like you are developing as a person. So coming in for those aspects, and really if you sell some product, you do. If you really just want to consume your product at a wholesale rate, you do.
Then be really clear about where you find yourself in that moment. Then you need to communicate that to your family and your partner and say, this is an opportunity and this is what I want from it, and what I want you to add is, for now. Okay? Then I want you to say, and if that changes, when that changes, I'm going to readdress it with you.
Now I've found out a bit more about the organization and see how it all works, I want to evaluate. I want to look at putting more time into getting my skill set around that. I need to get some equipment. I need to study a bit more about business, so that I can run this as a business.
When your intention is to run something as a business, your intention is to draw an income from your business results. You're hiring yourself as an employee. You need to get paid as an employee. Then you can elevate to say, well, 'I actually want to be a bigger empire builder and be an entrepreneur', and that would then be having a grander turnover, having a team, developing the team.
Now that might not be why you're joining the organization for, what you're starting the business for, today. And that's okay, because that can come on board later.
But here's the thing, with the blokes, as such, and I am just using this example in the story, they actually believe what you say you're going to do, right?
If you lead in with one particular version of the story and saying that's the fixed position, they're going to believe you're going to bring it home.
Just make sure you know what you want from it, and you reference it right from the beginning, with the intent to say, and in a window of time, I'm going to have a look at it and sort of see where I'm up to, and I might change my mind about that, and I may develop it too.
That's very, very different from feeling like you need permission!
That is a relationship question that is really deep, and it's also around your own layers of limitations, glass ceilings, emotional behaviors, past stories and your money mindset. That is way deeper than probably we've gotten a few minutes for, but I understand it's a very different set up to ask someone's permission and seeking that from a partner.
Certainly a consultation to say, hey, this is what I'm really excited about and you want their support for saying, yeah I'm excited to cheer you on. That's a very different thing.
Second tip setup a Calendar!
Identifying if your routines are going to change compared to what they are now, then have that communication again.
What is on the calendar?
Potentially you might be working different hours compared to what you have, or locations, or online at different hours, just have that so they understand what changes are going to be in the patterns that your home life are very used to, right?
Blokes say, oh, hang on, what's going on here? What's that mean?
If you are going to look at this to say, yes, I'm going to have this as a hobby and really enjoy it, then great. It might not be a contribution financially that you're intentionally making into the home, but you do have a sense of contribution about how it makes you feel and that contributes to your well-being, and that's hugely valuable!!
But if you're intend to make a financial contribution, be clear about what you mean from the beginning, and again, with the sentence that says, I'm going to review that in a window of time and see if that's still a match for me.
Have that dialogue, and understand about how you can collaborate.
Now, this is not just with your partner, it's also for people who live in your space with you. If you've got kids, it's a sense of how can they participate in it?
Many in our team would setup glass jars and every time that they have certain achievements in their business, there'd be a gold coin go into the glass jar. They had a family poster there of something that the money was going towards.
So fun getting the kids involved. I adore the opportunity when kids can see a parent who is setting goals and moving, and falling over, regrouping, going and learning, applying and stepping up in their own experiences and their own personal growth, because we are role models.
My son's just turned 24, and I still want to be an effective source of mentoring and wisdom, role modeling for him, than just leaving him to external public sources that he seeks it from.
Then there's...'Collaborate' people...
Some of your partners are going to want a space to support you.
Guess what they often don't know how. Give them some grace around where they can show up for you, what you value, specific actions.
My husband used to love just making sure my car was clean, washed, vacuumed, packed, fuelled up, ready to go out and do my business. That was contribution in his way, in his skill set and delivery and I felt a million dollars in a clean car!!
He would love that. So where can they have a place to play in that? It just really is a powerful energy to put into the sense of support. Having that sense of team.
..Be a WOW Woman
Be a Woman Of your Word.
If you say you're going to do something, I don't know, maybe do it, show up, deliver on it, and if something has changed, a crisis or so, then have that communication.
Say, look I did say this is going to happen. We're under some really unusual circumstances...I'm going to modify that information, Because, again, women, we use ten thousand more words a day more than men do, .
So if you're over inflating what you're going to expect from yourself, and then you're not following through and doing what you said you'd do, well then they'd be a little bit disappointed, as would you, if the story was in reverse, right?
Let's be fair. If we would expect from ourselves of what we'd expect from a partner,
Have a look at how you're communicating and what you're saying and what your expectations are, and what they heard.
(I'm referencing 'blokes', you could be in a same sex partnership, it doesn't matter)
Because most of the blokes I've seen who love their partners and want to develop a great relationship with their family, and have a positive life expectancy and story, actually would just say.. 'Tell me what you want done', and they do go into fix it mode of get it.
But just show up and be clear.
Just say, look, I want to build the business to here.
I want to earn this sort of income from it.
I realize it's going to take probably this amount of time.
It's going to require me to do this, this, this, and this, and where you could play a role in is this, this, this, and this.
Don't be sulking around the background and, oh, he doesn't know, he doesn't do anything right.
Does he even know? Have you outlined your clarity? As I said, at the beginning, have you actually expanded on the calendar that it's going to take? Have you got the understanding from your own self and where you're playing with this opportunity.
Get the education, Get the tools!
Is it hobby level or is it a professional business that you are building, because it's a distinct difference, and both are right.
You've just got to decide what it is and make sure that there is some common response.
If it's hobby, go have some fun!
If you are building a professional business and you want to get a full-time income match your knowledge, skill like your partner has to their professional qualifications, trade qualification, they've invested into equipment and to get the knowledge that they need in order to go and earn the income that they have, and give that commitment.
Make this a real conversation with your partner. You can't just fall into deciding you're going to have this full-time income from your business, without learning how to run a business, how to develop a business. It is its own thing.
I could not start with your organization and not learn about the product range and the impact of how those... What solutions those products would actually do for my clients. It's the same thing. It's a product unto itself.
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