I want to talk about five words, or five understandings, that are really taking away more peace out of your life and, if you were make some switch-outs and changes, what extra joy could you have flowing into your life, because we all want more peace, more play, more prosperity, right?
The first one is ‘blame’. Where we’re using blame in words are “I blame that person for that” or “I blame that situation”, there has to be blame for it. There is so much intentions and around that there has to be a responsible situation that someone needs to take ownership, and often it is a frustration that you come with, and you wanna push that out, that you have no connection with that situation. By removing that word out of your dialogue, then you got great. There was a situation that happened and we now need to deal with the facts, we now have to deal with understanding with the opportunity to learn, and how could we improve the next time.
And what I want you to understand is that the words I’ve selected, there’s probably a hundred words we want to remove from our dialogue in order to have more peace. But the particular ones that I’ve chosen have been tested through kinesiology and subconscious as to the ones that are really deep down and are then catching through muscle testing. The negativity that’s reigning and holding in that pain into your body.
The next one is the word ‘should’. ‘Should’ has so much connotations when you say “I should do this” or “I should do that” or “he should” or “she should do that”. With this, it’s really an external authority that has control over you by using the word ‘should’. And so if you know when to say, “You know what? I’m gonna replace ‘should’ with a choice. I either want this or I do not want this.” So if I want more of or I want less of, then it seems to me that you’ve got more say in this situation, you’ve actually more choice in the situation rather than feeling that as an adult, “I should go home and do the washing.” You know what you’re gonna try and say. “I’m going to go home and do the washing before dinner or after dinner.” It’s then saying, “Great, I have a choice around this.” So just not should’ing all over yourself.
The next one, it’s a biggie, is the word ‘hate’. I’ve consciously been removing that word out of our home for the last ten-odd years. It’s not a word we’re allowed to use. I’m pretty tough about it, because if I’m accepting that I can say ‘hate’ in such a casual reference, like, “Oh, I really hate how my hair looks today,” “I really hate broccoli,” it really brings more and more of that energy into your home, and you find more things to hate. It is an intense word, it is a word that has got so much history and pain associated, so the fact that you’re just gonna use it in your dialogue is one to say, “For what benefit would I be using that, as just a very casual term, or having it in my life at all? Why would I be referencing it? Why would I be including it in the way that I speak?” And so I think that if you become aware of just exactly the kind that you are feeling when you use it. Let’s try and eliminate it. I would definitely be encouraging you about that one.
Here comes another one. ‘Gossip’. A dear friend and I were talking about this this morning. Gossip means when you really want to take information that’s not yours, information and stories that are not yours, and tell them on to other people, or having a situation where maybe there’s information that’s here and you decide to add another few layers on just to really drive that knife in, or really drive that disempowerment over something that by another person, perhaps, who is succeeding, who is having a different experience to what you are having.
What we then do is that we move that story into the community and we elevate and almost all of a sudden, what was actually the sanctity of the truth has become washed away and you’ve become responsible.
You’ve become a participant in that. Now understand that gossip, they make trashy magazines, you want to live your life as a trash magazine, at that quality, where they’re just grabbing at headlines, grabbing at top layer stuff, or do you want to actually step into really layering the peace deep within you?
This is very different from when you need to find a confidante and a trusted mentor and somewhere you can actually go, “I’m actually needing to unpack something that’s happening in my life, I’m needing to understand a little bit. I need to lay it all out.” Channeling it into the safety and security, someone who isn’t just gonna be translating the outside of your circle into your cone of silence makes for a smart situation and who will go, “I hear you. How can we get to solving that? What do you think’s best in this situation?” That is very different, and if you do not have those people in your life, then get some people who can get close enough that you can start trusting in that, and it really will eliminate the nonsense that’s going on, and the attraction of more and more drama.
I get very little drama because of these sorts of things that I’ve started to get better at, to reduce in my life, to actually say, “What am I choosing?” I’ll check in about my choices. This is just for my own life, it’s not being righteous, it’s just saying, “I can see all this confusion and all this nonsense that sometimes we can get caught up in.” I try to be more conscious about what I’m playing, what I’m choosing to get closer into my situation.
The final one is the word ‘problem’. As kids, we’re told to solve problems, of course, but it’s when we actually focus on the word ‘problem’ rather than going, “A-ha! Something is presented in front of me and I’m actually going to now work on the solution,” instead of talking about the problem all the time. “Oh my gosh, this is such a problem.” No, it’s an opportunity. It is a challenge. We all have them, and some have them on a more intense daily basis than others and we can go through windows where we’ve actually got a series of them, but if we focus on the fact that, what can I do about certain circumstances that I’m now experiencing in this moment, in this season, in this – there’s a reason behind it, I may not know what it is, but I’ve got to plough through this. And so we get into solution.
It might happen the first few because you’ve got to have a reaction. Check in with your actions, vent, walk away from it, take a few days, absolutely. Then come back and say, “All right, let me now find my energy around the solution.”
Let’s talk about less problems. It’s not that you’re going to be all rainbows and sunshines, but it’s then saying, “I’m not escalating and escalating,” which once you thought that something was gonna be manageable, and then you’ve made it beyond manageable for your humanness to even take on, because you’ve now made it into something that it wasn’t. Just look at how you’re handling the word ‘problem’ into your life.
I pray that those five have been incredibly valuable to you just to say, “A-ha! Oh! Yeah!” Again, we could probably add another fifteen words. What are a few words that you’ve actually decided to start eliminating from your dialogue in your own space, in your family, or if you have any kids around or your partner? I’d love to actually know what those are as well.
Please share your comments here or on onto my Facebook Page
Sharyn Swan, loves Championing GenX Women Business Owners to feel valued, confident, soulfully authentic, financially secure, flourishing in mid-life and beyond!
She is moving Women to 'Create Worth, Share Wealth'
Her latest offering is The SMASH Programme, a transformative 12-week money mindset makeover, helping women to embrace their skills, crack the money code on their finances and focus their attention where it's needed most.